Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Max Power Favorite character: Hailey The OC words to live by: Puuuuuddding!

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

If Marissa is the school's social chair, assign a position in the cabinet to each of the other three main characters.

Matty Rich: Ryan is the president. That's a no-brainer. While he has has grown comfortable in Newport and now showcases a dry wit and occasional smile, the boy from Chino can still pull the punches (literally) and will command with force. Machiavellian in his beliefs, Ryan will rule through fear, not love. Here's where it gets tricky, however. With his main squeeze at the helm, Seth would be the obvious choice for vice president. But what would happen if Ryan were ever to be assassinated? Could Seth handle the newfound power and responsibility? Or would he - selfish, overly hurt and short-sighted - paddle away to Tahiti in a row boat? We simply cannot take that chance. So Summer is second in command. All the VP really has to do is look good anyway. We'll let Seth handle the money. As treasurer, he'll stock the library with comic books, the computer lab with video games. And bagels for everyone!

Max Power: Student government? ÊWhat a waste! ÊWell, if I had to choose, Seth would be president. ÊHe's already in charge of comic books and the sailing club, so it's not big deal to throw in the rest of the school. ÊRyan would be Minister in Charge of Carrying Oversized Stuffed Penguins. ÊBecause, let's be honest, how good would that look on your college application?!? ÊAnd since Summers is a girl, she'd obviously be secretary. ÊThat was easy, and remember kids: there's the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.

Leighton S.: Seth: VP: Verified Pansy. This kid was born with a horseshoe up his butt, thus his infatuation with Capt. Oates. Summer? Alex? Anna? How is this kid appealing to these knockouts? Witty banter only goes so far, trust me. I once wore a "witty" banner and I only made it like four blocks.

Summer: Treasure-er; Ryan: ÊCommissioner of Clique. Think about it, Ryan's been at Harbor for essentially less than a year. He's dated/hung out with/befriended/stared at one member of the following typical high school groupings: Jocks, Nerds, Partyers, Psychos, Geeks, Bookworms, Prom Queens, Dropouts and that's just Luke! You go Ryan, mix up those Harbor hangouts.

Discuss school government on the message board.

After his kiss with Julie, what advice would you give Jimmy?

Leighton S.: Run. Seriously. This lady's money-grubbing radar has hit a new high. Julie would have a bright future as a political lobbyist. Don't think it's coincidence that Julie finds you attractive again now that you're back on your fiscally-assured feet. Now that Caleb's finances are in question, why wouldn't Julie revert back to your revenue stream? One could argue she's just being a good mom and looking out for the monetary stability of her malnourished whelp, but I'd remind you who we're talking about here. Jimmy, you had a great thing going with Hailey, even had a stint with cute Rachel, this is Newport! Find someone else! Sleep with Julie while you're doing it, of course, but find someone else.

Matty Rich: You mean, aside from protecting himself with a condom or six? Jimmy now has the power in the relationship - Julie is desperate for money, along with the touch of someone who isn't taking either arthritis pills or fourth period calculus. As long as Jimmy keeps an eye on his cash flow and his urinary track, he can have all the fun with Julie that he wants, with none of the hassle or insanity. Oh, and one more thing, Jimbo: call Caitlin. She misses you.

Max Power: Scope.

Discuss the new advice for Jimmy on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• With Marissa as the social chair, I hope the students always eat a huge dinner before dances.
• These events are probably catered with olives and iceberg lettuce.
• I bet the only food available last night was the fake ice. At least they had enough for all of Newport.
• And who is really gonna attend the binge and purge fund raiser?

Is Caleb really worth all the trouble that Sandy is going through?

Max Power: Is crack worth all those awful things you have to do to get it? ÊMuch like a drug addiction, Sandy needs Caleb to get through his day. ÊYeah. he'd be better off without it. ÊYeah, he'd probably live longer without it. ÊAnd yes, he'd probably even have better sex without it, but Sandy needs to always be the character of higher morals. ÊSo to raise his self righteous self above everyone else he needs to contrast with Mr. Caleb Nichol. ÊSandy is the ying to Caleb's yang, or maybe it's the other way around, but regardless, you get the point.

Leighton S.: Caleb? Didn't he get killed last season from complications during a routine plot-twist operation? I don't know. Caleb is the patriarch who brings all these dysFUNctional people together. Worth all of Sandy's trouble? Probably not. Sandy is doing the right thing, but he's in over his head. Caleb has more closet skeletons than a closet skeleton collector. As long as Sandy protects the welfare of his beautiful bride, I'm sure everything will turn out alright. Plus, legal fees alone will pay off that second Range Rover they apparently bought Ryan.

Matty Rich: The dynamic between Sandy and Caleb is my favorite relationship on the show. It's a respectful hatred, a hating kind of respect, some sort of combination of respect and ... hate. But the one common trait is a beautiful blonde. Any time Kirsten's happiness is at stake, there is no trouble too intense to go through, no mountain too high to climb, no river too wide to cross. With each passing week, the antagonism drips off of the combatants' exteriors a little more. It's a joy to behold. But it's nice to know that the subtle, sarcastic digs at one another will never end. I smile each time Caleb refers to our boy as "Sanford." It's a regular Cal web of patronizing kindness.

Discuss Caleb on the message board.

Who would win a Jello wrestling match between Zach and Seth?

Matty Rich: Zach. At any sign of trouble, Slater would simply jump to his buddy's defense. Oh. Nevermind. This Zach, however, is well-rounded, an avid reader, one who fights for his girlfriend's affection. He's a dreamy hunk with hair that a wig maker would pillage for. This has nothing to do with wrestling, it barely has to do with Jello. But the only fight I'd ever wager on Seth during involves the playing of Mortal Kombat. ZAch, call me.

Leighton S.: Seth. He's wily, squirmy, he could probably talk so much Zach would pin himself. I fail to see how that's the real Jello-wrestling issue here, though. I mean you've now made me picture two Jello slathered men going at it amongst contenders like Marissa, Summer, Lindsay, Kirsten, Alex, etc. Who's writing these questions? Mr. Ward, is that you again? (On a slight sidenote: Dear Mr. Schwartz, as promised, my first-born will be sent directly to you upon arrival, thank you so very much for making Alex take her hair down).

Max Power: Why is it that the guys always have to fight? ÊI mean, could you imagine a more boring fight than Seth versus Zach? ÊIt's not even a contest, Zach would wipe the floor with him, even with that weak cheap shot he threw. ÊLet's turn it around and have the girlfriends fight!!! ÊCan you imagine an Alex-Summer clash? ÊIt would be the Ali-Frazier of cat fights, it would eclipse the Hailey-Julie pool time bash from last season. ÊAnd then you throw in Jell-O!!! ÊPhew, I need to go calm down, heaven wouldn't be this sweet!

Discuss Jello wrestling on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• It took me until this morning to understand the red dot process.
• It's nice to know that Alex reads The Round Table. Love the hair.
• Freudian slippers. Pure genius.
• Do you think The Bait Shop just shuts down during finals week?

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.