Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Rutherford B. Chillin' Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: I'm just saying that you're daughter has an extraordinary amount of vim.

Will Julie and Dr. Roberts get together?

Matty Rich: No way. He might tuck her tummy (if you know what I mean!), there's a chance he'll smooth out her wrinkles (will he ever!), and he'll definitely augment her breasts (ooooh yeah!!!). But I don't see them dating.

Rutherford B. Chillin': They had better not, or else the show might as well change its name to "Step by Step 2: The Art of Incest". If they got together, then Seth's one-time aunt would be banging his girlfriend's father. And forget Summer and Marissa sleeping in the same bed being hot anymore; they'd be step-sisters. Gross.

Darkly Noon: Are you kidding? Dr. Roberts is married. You can forget about this ever happening.

Discuss Mrs. Cooper Nichol and Dr. Roberts on the message board.

Was this really the best Chrismakkuh ever?

Darkly: Personally, I believe that 2003 was the best Chrismakkuh we have seen, with 2004 a distant second and 2005 barely warranting consideration. Come on. Johnny robbing a store? Julie chewing tobacco? Ryan doing nothing of consequence for the 17th consecutive episode? It's a blue Chrismakkuh, people. Blue, indeed.

Matty: Well, Johnny didn't die or go to jail. Marissa played a major role in the event. Kirsten kept her shirt on and the holy concept of Bar Mitzvahs was dumbed down to a commentary on The Village People and Dionne Warwick. I've seen better Chrismakkuhs on The War at Home.

Rutherford: Though it was pretty good, my heart belongs to A Very Chipmunks Chrismakkuh.

Discuss Chrismakkuh '05 on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Who else thinks Julie had a very different idea of what cock fights were at first?
• So Johnny bought the gun in front of the only place these kids hang out in, huh? Maybe he and Marissa are meant to be together.
• When he disappeared at the charity event, we thought he was trying to avoid Marissa. They should have checked the buffet line first.
• Seriously, you have to admit, that one was good.

Will we ever see the tremendous Taylor Townsend again?

Rutherford: I think the teeny tiny Taylor Townsend television time is totally my fault. Due to a restraining order filed against yours truly, and my subsequent inability to watch the television from at least 200 yards away, the producers of "The O.C." agreed that it would be in everyone's best interest to limit her appearances on the show.

Darkly: We can only hope that Taylor Townsend's troubles and inner torment are totally resolved so that we may be titillated by the teen temptress in '06.

Matty: The trauma of Taylor Townsend's time on television being terminated is almost too much to talk about without a tirade. Do the writers truly think viewers prefer the morose, malnourished Marissa? Taylor needs to take her out. Poison Marissa's diet pills, bash her face in with a crowbar, tie her shoelaces together. Just hurry up and replace the malaise of Marissa with the tidings of Taylor. And we don't want just a tease of Taylor, we want the triumphant, long-standing return of a character that actually possesses a personality and a hunger to entertain. Or just eat food.

Discuss the tremendous Taylor Townsend on the message board.

Has Ryan gone soft?

Darkly: Now that you mention it, I think he has put on a few. Might want to limit the bagel consumption and start doing some cardio, Ry.

Matty: There used to be a time when Ryan would have followed Johnny to that mini-mart... armed with a glock and a constipated stare of death. Now he's the voice of reason. He's also a whipped wuss. Just because this former bad boy wears a leather jacket doesn't exactly give him an edge, nor does the pummeling of a heavy bag one night result in anything but the same laid back, boring demeanor week to week. It's nice that Sandy and Kirsten took Ryan in and everything, always good to see a well-meaning individual receive a second chance. But this straight-laced version of Ryan needs to go knock up another hot babe, punch some animate objects or at least drive over the speed limit every once and awhile. As they say in Hebrew, Le Chiam has been drained from our boy.

Rutherford: He has grown a tad bit pudgy in the midsection. Hopefully Marissa's next awkward friendship will be with wounded loner celebrity John Basedow.

Discuss Ryan becoming weak on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• It's really too bad Johnny had to try and rob the store that same night.
• There was so much Johnny drama in that episode. Kevin Dillon would be proud.
• Couldn't Caitlin's boarding school at least give her Christmas off? She's like 9 years old! Let her hang out with her family, you cruel private educators!

Discuss this week's random thoughtson the message board.