Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Mr. Blue Favorite character: Kirsten The OC words to live by: Sandy: Face it, your mom‘s a hottie. And I got her. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one.

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

How should Sandy and Kirsten punish Seth for his transgression?

Matty Rich: The punishment should fit the crime, right? Seth abandoned his loving parents, left his mother depressed, lonely and bitter toward his father; left his father confused, helpless, yearning for the son to whom he could give safe sex advice and tips on how to pronounce Yogalates. The only reasonable way for Seth to see the error in his selfish, spoiled, insecure ways? Yup, Kirsten must walk around the house topless for at least a week. It's the only thing that makes sense. Think about it.

Mr. Blue: I don't think the Cohens need to punish Seth. ÊI think Summer will do that enough for them. ÊAnd if she doesn't, you know on the first day of school, Seth will get at least one atomic wedgie. ÊBut Summer will make him pay, probably cry a little. ÊI think it'll be similar to the Oliver/Marissa/Ryan problems from last year. ÊShe'll make him crazed with jealousy, he'll impregnate some girl or spend a lot of time talking to Captain Oats and then they'll probably come together following some sort of major tragedy. ÊMy guess? ÊI'd have to say someone big will die (Caleb?), run away (Julie?), or get really sick (cancer? Êthey haven't raised the issue of dealing with disease yet). ÊMakes for a great setup long term.

Darkly Noon: Driving Seth to Compton and leaving him on a street corner in nothing but his boxer shorts is the first thing that comes to mind, but since the Cohens' desire throughout their son's short-lived odyssey was that he return to Newport, such a plan seems counterproductive. Luckily, he can be fed a steady diet of humiliation and hard labor without even leaving the Cohen estate. Home renovation month couldn't have come at a better time! Ten-hour days of putting up drywall and having his rear end slapped repeatedly by an army of shirtless hunks will be enough to make the insolent brat wish he were never born.

Leighton S.: Transwhat? I dunno, sure running away is a big deal and Seth was lucky to have a boat for collateral and a place to go. But does he really need to be punished? He obviously risked and learned a lot, which for Seth is rare. Hehe, get it? Rare ... learned stuff ... how to barbecue ... steaks and burgers ... rare ... eh. Sorry. What I'm saying is that he's been punished enough having to learn from the life experiences he went through. Sandy saw that when he visited, and Kirsten won't want to punish the son that she got back. If he really HAD to be punished, I'd say make him swimÊenough laps in the pool to cover the distance between Newport and Fiji. THEN, he'd realize how much of a moron he was. Although on the open ocean, he doesn't have to worry about lawn chairs falling out of the sky.

Discuss Seth's punishment on the message board.

What was your reaction when you first saw the return of Luke?

Mr. Blue: I didn't really think much of it. ÊI like how he has reverted back to cool Luke, though,Êcalling Ryan, "Chino," for example. ÊI kept thinking he was talking about Ryan's chinos, like his dad was influencing him a little! ÊI knew he couldn't be around much longer, though. ÊHe is on a huge Boston billboard for Abercrombie, so Chris Carmack is obviously moving on to bigger things. Ê(Granted, he'll regret leaving the show more than when Mrs. Flanders deciding to stop working on The Simpsons. ÊOr Shannon Doherty on 90210. ÊI think you know what I'm saying).

Leighton S.: Much like RafikiÊin the Lion King: "He ... he's alive? He's ALIVE!!" Luke was aroundÊso long ago it's hard to remember where he fits into the story. He shot Oliver and married Seth's grandma right? Only to later shock everyone byÊconfessingÊhis love for Jimmy even though he's carrying Hailey's baby? See, and you thought I wasn't paying attention. It is good to know his character remainsÊflexible; cheating boyfriend/bully, sniffling wimp, boy toy ... golden retriever?ÊRiiight.

Matty Rich: I hugged my gay father.

Darkly Noon: Luke's first appearance last night, as seen in Darkly's living room: Darkly: [momentary speechlessness, followed by hysterical laughter] Darkly's Fiancee: [shaking head in disgust] ÒOh, of course that's where Seth is. Hanging with Luke. Where else would he be? Wow, I don't know about Season Two.Ó Darkly: ÒOregon? ThatÕs the best that little bitch could do?Ó Darkly's Fiancee: ÒYour hair looks a lot like Luke's, only his is nicer!

Discuss the Return of Luke on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Be honest. It wasn't a question of whether or not you sang the opening theme song, but how loudly you belted it out.
• I hadn't seen that many bare-chested, sweaty men since Darkly's bachelor party.
• So Marissa eats. That's great. But how does she find the time with her pants on fire?
• We know that Luke's dad is gay. But does that mean he has to become Mr. Mom?

Translate Marissa's primal scream into words that describe her actual thoughts at that moment.

Darkly Noon: Man, what does it take to enjoy a steak sandwich and rock out to Megadeth on my iPod in peace?!

Matty Rich: I wonder how long I can scream for? I hate patio furniture! It weighs like three times as much as me. I can't scream much longer, mom. You bitch!

Leighton S.: COOOOOKIES!!! CHOCOLATE CAAAAAAAAKE!!!! GIVE ME ICE CRREAAAAMMM!!!ÊSorry, don't mean to rehash bad jokes from last season, but seriously, they're going to have to start propping her up! I'm sure this is a monumental (emphasis onÊ"mental") step in Julie and Marissa's relationship.ÊBut all Marissa needs is a mom who's stable. Not someone who's proud to have more riding equipment than a stable. Until that happens, let's just appreciate Marissa for who she is: a malnourished, overly-dramatic, seventeen-year-old alcoholic who may be developing tourette's syndrome. Brilliant.

Mr. Blue: Up until that point. I was convinced that my prediction of two days ago was beginning to hold true. ÊMarissa was making the jump. ÊShe was beginning to escape the "Just another pretty face" reality TV girl trying to act, and making the move to an actual actress. ÊShe even took my advice (naturally) and ate a few burgers over the summer. ÊLooks good when you can't make out her skeletal structure while she's in a bikini (the ironic thing is that they made fun of the myriad of old comments about her weight with a little dig from Summer. ÊHowever, was it me, or was Summer the one looking just a little too thin?). ÊAnyway, when she flipped out, it was priceless. ÊJust a little cheesy, but MAN, was Jimmy right when he called it a level 5 meltdown! ÊHahaha. ÊI will stick by my call of Marissa making the jump this year. ÊGreat scream. ÊI wish she had thrown Julie into the pool as well.

Discuss Marissa's scream on the message board.

Should Theresa have lied to Ryan about the baby?

Darkly Noon: Either this is the most poorly crafted plan of all time, even by OC standards, or there is a conspiracy at work. Theresa's lie worked well enough, but what happens when Ryan, good guy that he is, shows up unannounced to see her down the road? And you know he will. His new life may be in Newport, but he is Chino to the core, and what a nice surprise awaits him upon his inevitable return home! Seeing her cradle Ryan, Jr. will go over really well. Her lies are weak and entirely unfair, unless the situation is more complicated than we know. Enter the conspiracy angle. Since Theresa's unborn child was most likely fathered by former husband-to-be Eddie, letting Ryan off the hook may, ironically, be justified. Why has this fact not been addressed? Did Theresa pull a fast one on Ryan in the first place? Is she pregnant at all? It's been at least four months now' and she sure doesn't look it. The newfound resolution to this plot line arose a little too easily. There's a good chance Theresa was, or is, doing some serious hustling. Stay tuned.

Matty Rich: Why exactly did Ryan move there in the first place? To sleep in the same bed with the girl who may possibly, questionably, unknowingly be carrying his child? Is there a reason why he did not remain in Newport, get a much, much higher paying job to support the baby and drive a whole 45 minutes to each doctor's appointment? Did the person in charge of Marissa's weight control write this story line? Complete lack of logic aside, of course Theresa made a mistake. She should never have asked Ryan to move back to Chino to begin with, especially when she didn't even know if it were his baby (that slut!). Upon witnessing his unhappiness, the proper thing to do would have been to, you know, refer to the first part of my answer and explain to Ryan that it would make A LOT more sense to go back to Newport. He had made every responsible decision in this situation, he did not deserve to be lied to about something so important. From now on, we'll call her Latino Cheat.

Leighton S.: No. No free passes on this one. Sex, pregnancy, children, this is all very real. Lying only makes things worse. If it's his child and he finds out the baby is alive, how awful is he going to feel? She's testing his love for her and it's a dangerous game. What if Marissa and Ryan end up together forever? How well will she fair as a stepmom? That child's only hope at a future would be if lawnchair tossing becomes an Olympic sport.

Mr. Blue: This hurt. ÊRyan was doing the right thing. I wish they had shown him return to get his stuff, one more look at the beautiful Theresa ... ÊBut you knew they had to get rid of this story line. ÊIn fact, maybe making it a kid thing was a little dramatic to begin with. ÊI know accidental teen pregnancy was one of only like two or three after school special issues which hadn't been touched on by the last 3-4 episodes last year, but it could very easily have become too big of a mess to clean up. ÊHaving an abortion was obviously out of the question, plus Theresa couldn't do it. ÊIn the end, it was the cleanest way, although it kind of ends Theresa's run on sort of a bad note. ÊShe was a great character, and I think it was fantastic that kids without money are still depicted as trying to do the right thing. Then she lies to Ryan following the advice of her mother. ÊIt just seemed out of character. ÊI still say we'll find out its Eddie's in a couple of months. ÊAnyway, I don't like that they did it, but they kind of had to. And I think this was the best way.

Discuss Theresa's lie on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• My girlfriend peeled my orange once. It was awesome!
• So it sounds like Caleb has to prepare for quite a storm. Hope he has storm windows ready. But what about the charges against him?
• Boarding school for Caitlin? Isn't she like 8 years old?
• I prefer my cardio bars with chocolate chips.
• I also prefer really lame jokes.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.