Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Mr. Blue Favorite character: Kirsten The OC words to live by: Sandy: Face it, your mom‘s a hottie. And I got her. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one.

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

Which duo has the best chance at hooking up this season: Kirsten and Ryan; Marissa and Caleb; or Seth and Sandy?

Matty Rich: I don't know how anyone can resist Sandy's eyebrows, his charm, his calm exterior that is fueled by a passionate, loving, humorous, intense, voluptuous, endearing, long-winded interior. If there is anyone, however, who can refrain from boffing this big daddy, well, it's his son. That's obvious.

Moving on, we all know how badly Ryan wants to go Greg Brady on Kirsten's well-aged buttocks. The short hair, the maleness, the four-letter first name, the similarities between these two sex-crazed step siblings is uncanny. What is extremely canny, however, is the possibility that Ryan could actually follow through on his Kirsten kravings (extra points for alliterative spellings. I mean, alliterative aspellings.). After all, we know how she gets when inebriated. A few margaritas, a few constipated looks of craving from Ryan and they could make Kirsten's lip lock with Jimmy look like a seventh-grade game of spin the bottle. But this won't happen. Why? Because Kirsten really likes me instead. Seriously. The picture of her in Teen People told me so.

So that leaves us with Marissa and Caleb and it leaves me with a one word response: duh! What better way for Marissa to enact the mother of all revenges against, appropriately enough, her mother, then to bag her beau? The bottom of that vodka bottle is a cold, lonely, hate-filled place and it's one where Marissa will find Caleb, strapped for cash and strapped to the bedposts by his step daughter. But he won't even know she's there. Because she's really, really thin.

Mr. Blue: We know that Ryan has had his fill. Or at least he should have. He's already qualified for official "the man" status in TV teenage melodrama history, right next to Dylan McKay. And let's face it - Dylan didn't make it until his young wife was blown up by her father, and suddenly he became vengeful, among other things. Ryan did it all in one season; he slept with the prom queen; possibly impregnated his former girlfriend; stood up to the cool guys in school (lest we all forget Luke's last days of glory before his dad came out of the closet). He also befriended the local geek, earned Sandy and Kirsten's love and saved a girl from ODing, all while avoiding her crazy mother. For him to subsequently hook up with the hottest mom on TV ... well, I think the male audience's head would explode. And Fox can't have that. So he and Kirsten are out.

Seth might inadvertently, while in a drug induced haze (I'm fairly certain he joined Ricky Williams on sabbatical in Australia, but I'll touch on that shortly) come on to his father. I mean, there is some evidence there. He has a plastic horse friend, for starters. He also an incredibly open relationship with his father. But ... WHAT AM I SAYING??!?!!?! Seth and Sandy are both too cool, they can't ruin the dynamic like that. No matter how many drugs either of them are doing.

And finally, we come to Marissa and Caleb. Wow. Even Caleb has standards. I take that back. I think, in the past, I've been too hard on Marissa. I have faith that she'll make the jump this year. Straight from winter ball in Mexico to the big show. She has to. Everyone is too invested in the show for her to hold it back. The only thing I can see is an awkward moment when she confronts Caleb about Luke and her mom. I actually hope that she instead lives with the irritation of knowing, allowing Caleb to become so consumed by her reticence (look it up at www.dictionary.com. Who ever said this site wasn't educational?) that his Australian accent comes through. That would be awesome.

As for the surprise hook up? Marissa and Summer. And here's why: just like we believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and Hanukah Harry, we must believe in this. Only then will it come true.

Darkly Noon: We can eliminate Seth and Sandy right away, by virtue of the fact that they are not homosexual. That leaves two options. Given that she has already been bagged by three individuals we know of, and considering her complete lack of stability, Marissa and Caleb would appear the obvious choice to partake in said scenario. There are just too many factors which could prevent it, however. Caleb may be served something he finds difficult to swallow (a prison sentence). Marisa may be served something she finds difficult to swallow (food). You just never know. The scandalous pair most likely to tang it in the near future will be the angst-ridden Ryan and seductive Kirsten. Regardless of what Luke Ward might tell us, Kirsten is the Orange County's hottest maternal figure, and Ryan its resident stud. She frequently battles her husband over careers and family, like all married couples do. As a rough and tumble teen, he also spars with his lawyer/guardian on a regular basis. Sooner or later, their resentment of Sandy and vulnerability will coincide. Make the connection.

Where is Seth right now?

Mr. Blue: As mentioned earlier, I have to believe that Seth went down to Australia to hang with his newly retired buddy, former NFL running back Ricky Williams. You could always tell Seth, like Ricky, was a little uncomfortable with his newfound popularity. He did awkward things, such as climb onto a desk in the caf, declaring his love. Nice? Sure. Awkward and uncomfortable? Absolutely! Much like when he had to get his aunt (how great is she?) out of the strip club. His social awkwardness and Ricky's are both similar. Plus, both feel abandoned by those around him: Ricky by his offensive coordinator, Seth by Ryan. And like the Dolphins, I think the early part of the new season will see Ryan hit a rough patch or two. But it will all come together. Of course, the Dolphins still suck, so this analogy has got to end. Anyway, Seth is somewhere, mowing pot brownies, singing by the camp fire to hot Australian girls and trying to forget Summer. Or, in a totally different twist, he's in Pittsburgh with Anna. .. and I think we know where that will lead. That's right. The big hook up of the season is actually ... Anna and Summer!

Dakrly Noon: Seth supposedly set out for Tahiti. How long do you think it took a young man of his intelligence and limited courage to realize that wasn't going to happen? Five minutes, tops. Having come to his senses, but still determined to escape his tragic existence, Seth reconsidered his options and arrived at the only logical conclusion. The nearest international boundary one can slip through undetected is just a few hours south of Newport. That's right, Mexico. Once he sailed past the border fence at Tijuana, or ÒTJÓ - a place he already knows well - Seth quickly bought himself a new set of papers, along with minor nose and chin alterations from a plastic surgeon operating out of his pickup truck, then re-boarded the Summer Breeze and continued south to Ensenada, just 60 miles down the Baja peninsula. Rumors are that he plans to live out his days lounging on the beach by day, doing some small-time dealing for the Tijuana cartel to pay the rent and picking up loose California tourists by night. How the cast members will adjust to his absence remains to be seen.

Matty Rich: I can tell you where Seth is NOT: at home with his loving, dedicated parents; with his faithful, tender girlfriend; basking in the newfound security of acceptance and popularity as a result of a true friendship and special relationship with the girl of his dreams. So where is Seth? Stuck in a self-indulgent, self-centered, self-serving world. Gee, sorry your best buddy moved a whole 45 minutes away. Get over yourself, twerp.

What is your favorite memory from the first season?

Darkly Noon: For pure emotion, my favorite scene was when Ryan finally realized where he belonged. After Sandy asks Ryan how home was, he replies "you tell me, I was in Chino." This heartwarming exchange signaled a turning point in his troubled life, at least before he knocked up Theresa. For pure entertainment, it doesn't get better than watching the awkward Seth get it on with two girls, while they are both at his parents' house and unaware of the other's presence, on Thanksgiving of all days. Such a rags-to-riches success story - the nerdy kid finally snagging the babe of his dreams, along with some weird, scarf-wearing girl from Pittsburgh with a lisp - would make any male viewer proud. Seth's mannerisms during the charade, along with Sandy's reaction to his antics, were equally priceless. For pure comedy, the season's best moments came from the now-departed Luke. From his face lighting up like a kid on Christmukah morning when Julie gave him that "booty call," to his proclaimed desire to "do" her since adolescence, Luke's contributions were endless. No question that the drunk driving, guitar-playing, first-throwing enigma will be missed this season. "ItÕs just ... your ass ..."

Matty Rich: A father/son moment that elicits the sincerity and humor of our favorite Californian clan tops my list. As Seth recounted the experience of his first sexual tryst to Sandy, a smile grew on my lips that could only be matched by the proud expression on the elder Cohen's face. Within a one-minute conversation, Sandy ensured that his son used protection when under (or on top of) the Summer sun, referred to his boy as a "dog" and made all viewers feel as uncomfortable as Seth, although I refrained from throwing up just little bit. The scene depicted the essence of both characters, as well as the close dynamic between them. A son turned to his father for guidance and the guidance was provided, the uncomfortable, humorous prideful, encouraging guidance. One would like to think that Seth, little soldier protected as promised, lasted for at least 9 seconds after receiving these words of wisdom from Sandy. "Fore what now?" Exactly.

Mr. Blue: I think my favorite memory from the first season has to be the moment where Ryan carried Marissa out of Tijauna. One of the all time great episodes, left us on a cliffhanger. Ryan, walking out with the girl, just doing his best to protect one of the few people who had protected him. Seth and Summer looking around like crazy. It was the last episode of the "summer season," and, as that music started, I just knew I needed more OC. It's not quite cow bell, but it's up there. At that moment, it went from being a teeny bopper cheese ball, guilty pleasure drama, to a show I couldn't miss. Here's to another season of drinking with friends, chicken sandwiches and trying to pretend to the outside world that I am not addicted to the show. So I speak in a little bit of hyperbole, but I haven't been this excited about something since Pearl Jam played the Fleet live. OK, who am I kidding? I was a lot more excited when the Red Sox knocked off the Yankees and then won the World Series. But some of my counterparts on this very page are Yankees fans. And if a Yankees fan and some Red Sox fans can come together, then I think we can all come together. And watch the OC baby