Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Rutherford B. Chillin' Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: I'm just saying that you're daughter has an extraordinary amount of vim.

How will Taylor get her revenge on Summer?

Matty Rich: Let's just say that Princess Sparkle will take a ride on the totally transcendent Taylor train. Yup, talking about Taylor taking the plastic pony poontang.

Rutherford B. Chillin': Summer receives a text on her Sidekick luring her to a grassy knoll. Summer arrives to the grassy knoll (as it does every year) only to find Taylor Townsend The Third waiting for her. TTTTtells Summer that she knows she shot JFK from that grassy knoll 30 odd years earlier. Liberal Sandy Cohen shows up and tells Summer that he has footage of her taking the shot. Summer agrees to confess and Taylor has her revenge!

Darkly Noon: This past episode may have been titled "The Perfect Storm," but we haven't seen anything yet. Not even the popular film of the same name, The Perfect Storm will compare in storminess to the scene at Harbor when tawdry Taylor tries to take to task the tattling, terrific Summer. My guess is that Taylor's tactless tribulations will be taxing and treacherous, maybe tacit and perhaps even titillating, but not triumphant. Tang.

Discuss Taylor's revenge on the message board.

Will Johnny make it as a professional surfer?

Darkly Noon: Viewers won't see this chump "hang ten" anytime soon. He is just the latest Johnny Zero to meet little to no success on the FOX network.

Matty Rich: Scarcely larger than the paper clip known as Marissa, Johnny lacks the build of a successful surfer such as Laird Hamilton (6'3", 215 pounds). As a former Pee Wee League quarterback, however, he's a naturally gifted, moral athlete. I forecast a future in law enforcement. But if he has to change his last name to match a state and hop back on the board in order to apprehend a gang of bank robbers, so be it.

Rutherford B. Chillin': Obviously. How else are they going to write him off the show? A pro tour in Australia is the best way to get him out of there after he causes a rift betwixt Ryan and Marissa which they ultimately fill with their love and old newspapers. Johnny then takes the next boat out of Newport and heads to Australia.

Discuss the new Johnny on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions

• This episode of The OC was brought to you by Sidekicks everywhere and http://www.craigslist.org.
• Marissa makes a good point - no one from public school ever goes to college.
• That recap of The Valley sounded more interesting that the last year and a half of The OC.
• Way to show some happiness, gratitude or curiosity about being enrolled in Harbor again, Ryan.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.

Who's the better schemer: Summer or I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby?

Rutherford B. Chillin': Well, Scooter got caughter and Summer got breasts. So to answer your question, Summer has the nicer breasts.

Darkly Noon: Summer's schemes only work in the world of loosely connected scripts and bad writing (that's right, Josh Schwartz, I went there), and former V.P. Chief of Staff Lewis "Scooter" Libby proved a rather poor schemer in the end, getting served with a federal indictment. Therefore, I gotta go with Scooter the Talking Baseball. Anyone who can explain the oscillation of a knuckle curve or cut fastball is good by me.

Matty Rich: The country is fighting a misguided war, right? So whether or not you agree with the Iraqi cover up - and how could you not? - at least Scooter accomplished his mission. Aside from rehashing the perfectly sensible Theresa/pregnancy story line, along with the perfectly admirable Luke/Julie one, Summer only successfully schemed the audience into believing there was a point in her plotting. More evidence of WMDs in Iraq has been uncovered than any proof that hotel fiasco resulted in.

Discuss Summer's scheme on the message board.

What's your favorite Luke Ward memory?

Darkly Noon: So many memories, so little space in which to discuss. But without a doubt, my favorite image was the laid-back Luke chilling on the steps at school, having completed the transformation from dumb jock to introspective, guitar-strumming sage. My only regret is that we never heard any lyrics from the budding folk hero, although the Round Table staff did offer some possibilities.

Matty Rich: Just the kindness he showed Seth during a troubled couple months; along with the love he continued to feel for his very homosexual father. We could all learn a lot from the transformation Luke undertook. From a judgmental, bludgeoning bully to a caring, sensitive friend and son, this is a role model for all confused teenagers. And remember the time he gave it to Julie Cooper!

Rutherford B. Chillin': Remember that time in "Die Hard" when the bad guys shot all the glass and Luke Ward had to walk across the glass but he didn't have any shoes on so the glass cut his feet and he had to pick pieces of glass out of his feet? That was awesome.

Discuss Luke Ward on the message board.