Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Rutherford B. Chillin' Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: I'm just saying that you're daughter has an extraordinary amount of vim.

Julie is officially out of husbands and money. Now what?

Rutherford B. Chillin': She's just going to have to suck it up, prepare the old resume and hit the pavement looking for a new job. And then she's going to have to work hard at that job to make ends meet. It's going to be tough, but along the way she'll find the idealistic young woman she once was long before money and status became important to her. Ah, who am I kidding? She's going to find herself a new, richer, older husband. Still, that process will also begin with her having to suck it up.

Darkly Noon: Julie needs cash. She's desperate. She has no talents, except... Does anyone know where Lance is?

Discuss Julie's next step on the message board.

Now that Kirsten is back in Newport, it's going to be tougher for Charlotte, the mysterious chick from the rehab center, to keep stalking her! Yet we feel she's up to the task. What was your favorite stalking experience?

Darkly: Stalking really opens your eyes to a lot of things. Darkly's passion once led him to join a religious cult, but he escaped and found himself in the care of a sweltering Southern damsel. While she rebuffed Darkly's advances, and her deaf mute husband eventually attempted to take Darkly's life, it was a great experience. The day-to-day grind of the cult just wasn't enough to satisfy Darkly's needs... to become happily married and analyze The OC for a living.

Rutherford: In my younger, shorter pants-wearing days, I was quite the flip cup player. Until, one fateful evening, when I lost a one-on-one, seven cup, best of three series against another flipper (though not the dolphin). It became my life's work to beat that non-aquatic mammal at his own game, which was, of course, flip cup. To better my odds of winning, I followed the flipper around, learned his habits, his hobbies and his hubcaps (there were 4 of them; he kept them on his wheels). After obtaining some of his DNA from a half-eaten Mr. Goodbar (the movie, not the candy), I created an exact replica of the flipper, though without the blow hole and with, for some reason, larger genitals. I spent my time flipping cups against the clone long into the night, and still could not best him. However, I now never have to look far for a doubles partner in tennis or solitaire, and I know that at the end of the day, there's always going to be someone to wash my back in the sho wer.

Discuss Kirsten's stalker on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Marissa should have known showing was up when she was whisked away from the restaurant before she could finish her dinner!
• The girl never eats, I swear.
• And come on. A romantic hut on the beach complete with torches, Ryan? Why didn't you just get her drunk first and save the trouble?
• What with Luke having been with Marissa first, I hope Ryan used protection.
• Speaking of Luke, I hope he and his gay Dad are enjoying life in Oregon, and that they come to visit Newport sometime.

What, specifically, did Caleb apologize for in his letter?

Rutherford: He was eating Cheetos while writing the letter, and apologized for the delicious orange smudge marks on the page.

Darkly: The will said it all, don't you think? While he was supposedly making millions in real estate, Caleb was actually up to his eyeballs in loans and working on a side deal in which he would star in a television show alongside Lil' Bow Wow.

Discuss Caleb's apology on the message board.

Which recent turn of events will be handled better by the corresponding character - Seth's two months' detention, or Marissa's enrolling in a new school that looks to be (from the previews), shall we say, a bit more "ethnic" ?

Darkly: The way things are going between Seth and Mr. Big Shot Dean of Discipline, he's going to wind up in solitary, 23-hour-a-day lockdown in a few episodes. He's got no shot. The latest upheaval in Marissa's life will tell us a lot about her. I imagine something out of Save The Last Dance, in which she discovers the expressive power of dance and overcomes the racial and socioeconomic stereotypes that have defined her posh Newport upbringing. Or not. She'll probably just end up being somebody's bitch, making this a draw.

Rutherford: Seth has been preparing for detention his entire life. He has the plans to the school tattooed on his body. Escaping detention is just the beginning.

Discuss your ideal Marissa and Seth on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• I totally saw Caitlin at the wedding!
• Not.
• When he couldn't pay, Jimmy got punched in the face, dunked in the ocean and got to ride in a sweet SUV? Remind me to borrow money from the mob all the time!
• What did Kirsten do with that perfectly good bottle of vodka? That is the real question.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.