Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one.

Name: Max Power Favorite character: Hailey The OC words to live by: Puuuuuddding!

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

Fact or Fiction: Ryan should have gone back to Chino.

Matty: Fact. Look, my childhood girlfriend showed up at my pool house the other day (and by "pool house," I mean closet). She's engaged to some other dude, but a month ago, I promised her an HDTV. What can I say, she asked REALLY nicely. Anyway, the television is really expensive and it's being delivered in like seven months. She can't carry it inside by herself. Now, I'm sure that her fiance made the same promise almost every day - perhaps twice on those days when he was in an extra generous mood. But, like Ryan, I feel responsible. I can't turn my back on this new TV set, one that may provide me with a higher definition of the world.

Darkly Noon: Fiction. Ryan is getting played by Theresa on this one. He tangs it with her exactly once, while she was engaged to marry another guy, and everyone is so convinced it's his kid? The probability is slim at best. And while you can't fault Ryan for wanting to be there for her, why go back to Chino when you can live rent-free in an oceanfront Newport pool house? Ryan and Theresa should stay with the Cohens to ride this thing out together. And, perhaps, at least for a few more months, ride each other.

Leighton: Fiction. And do what? Work minimum wage to support a child that probably isn't his? Sandy should have stepped in here. Ryan claims he doesn't want the child to grow up the way he did. Pop quiz hotshot: where did you grow up? Chino? Riiiiiiiight. Raising a child at their age has to be one of the hardest things to do in life. Why break all the ties with people who will be able to help you out? What a moron.

Max Power: Fiction. Ryan, be selfish for once.Ê I applaud you trying to do the right thing, but first off, isn't going back to Chino going to make things worse?Ê You're with a family that will support you all the time.Ê You'll get paid a lot more living in Newport than in Chino.Ê And do you really think Eddie's going to enjoy having you around?Ê I think next season should open with Ryan and Eddie going 10 rounds.Ê And what is Ryan going to do if it's not his kid, just leave her??Ê Stupid, stupid, Ryan.

Fact or Fiction: Seth died two days after leaving Newport.

Leighton: Fact. Two days? More like two hours. I wish you could have seen me ranting about this last night. I'm still convinced the lamp had it coming. Regardless, the kid is trying to sail a 10 foot catamaran to Tahiti?? Where's the mainsail or jib? The prevailing winds don't even go that way! Does he think he's going to tack his way to Tahiti??? That would take 48 months, not days. And where's his GPS and charts? Are we to assume he's going to navigate with the stars? What happens when he gets out into the open ocean and his 10 foot boat gets eaten by 12 foot waves?? Is he going to swim the rest of the way? What a moron.

Matty: Fiction. If I learned anything from Gladiator, it's that death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back. So I have no doubt that Seth will eventually confront his ultimate demise with wit and confidence. But not on this adventure! If Ben Affleck can survive the Voyage of the Mimi and go on to win an Oscar, then Seth can brave any storm, even a perfect one. He's focused and determined, powered by a summer breeze. Tahiti is his destiny, his calling, his raison d'�tre. What Seth does in life will echo in eternity and, yarr, this scallywag will return to Newport as a brave and wet new man.

Max Power: Fiction. Seth would have been lucky to make it one day before his catamaran capsized (come on, it's 10 feet long; it could barely handle two foot waves) and he sank to the bottom of Davy Jones' locker.Ê

Darkly Noon: Tie. Of course he won't die. Executive producer McG knows young Mr. Cohen's value and would never allow that scenario. The proper question is should Seth die, and the answer is emphatically yes. The last time I checked, Seth was still dating Newport's most attractive female (excluding those in his own family). His whole life he desired Summer, yet he turns his back on her because he is saddened by Ryan's departure? That poor decision alone ought to warrant his death. Additionally, are we supposed to believe that a kid who can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag can now hack it on the open sea? He's one bad storm away from being a Pacific Sleeper Shark's breakfast.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• If Kirsten "cajoled" me in that kind of way, not only would I forgive Caleb, I'd be his best man.
• Heck, not only would I be his best man, I'd do his laundry for a month.
• Theresa makes $11 in tips for a day? $11?!? Even if she only received the 85 cents from each customer as we witnessed that one time, she'd only need 12 patrons to reach that supposed amount. And this is in Newport!
• Couldn't she just take her magic register fixing skills and make a lot of money that way? You know, by magically fixing registers.
• Shockingly, Marissa turned down her father's request to get a Balboa Bar.

Fact or fiction: Caleb and Julie's marriage will last forever.

Max Power: Fact.Ê Or until hell freezes over and they have to move out because of the cold.

Leighton: Fiction. Kids, it's no coincidence that her new last name is Nichol (i.e. Nickel). She'll do anything and everything to associate herself with money. I just can't wait until next season when she confuses the newest fitness craze with the medieval corporal punishment and "quarters" herself.

Darkly Noon: Fact. From the beginning of the season we have seen Julie's unwavering devotion to Caleb. Her love for the person he is shines brighter than a picturesque Newport sunset. Both individuals are straightforward, honest and fiercely loyal to those in their lives. If any marriage can withstand the test of time, and the potential bankruptcy of a multimillion dollar corporation, this is the one!

Matty: Fact. If Ju-ju and Cal-cal can't live happily ever after, what hope is there for Shrek and Princess Fiona? Or any of us for that matter? Granted, Caleb may end up doing some hard time in the big house and Julie may get lonely in her new, well, big house. But that will just make for some very hard time during visiting hours at the jail. That's right, I'm talking about conjugal visits, people! Meanwhile, forget the couple's money woes. This is Julie Cooper. In an empty mansion. In Newport. Madam Julie and her ladies will soon be at the service of Newport's richest and loneliest males. Think about it ...

Fact or fiction: Marissa weighs more than 45 pounds.

Matty: Fiction. I have a blow up doll that weighs more than Marissa. I mean, my friend has a blow up doll who weighs more than Marissa.

Max Power: Fiction. Well, maybe on Venus.Ê Let's be honest, the whole Kate Moss era ended awhile ago.Ê Ladies, please eat.Ê Speaking of Kate Moss did you ever see the episode of Family Guy where the son is a NYC artist and is dating Kate Moss and Kate Moss is so skinny that she falls through a crack in the floor and gets blown out a window like a piece of paper. God, I miss that show.Ê Wait what was I talking about? Oh yeah.Ê Marissa.Ê Eat.Ê Don't get depressed and drink. Do what a typical American would do and eat until you've become comfortably obese.

Darkly Noon: Fact. A quick poll of Darkly's co-workers indicates that even the most petite, anorexic-looking females weighs at least 80 or 90 pounds. This poll also reveals that unless you enjoy having scalding hot coffee dumped on you, asking some female colleagues such questions is not the brightest idea.

Leighton: Fact. She has to weigh more than that. Otherwise, they would have thrown her into the ocean by now. That, or a stiff ocean breeze would have carried her off to Utah, where still loving a boyfriend who has impregnated another woman is quite the norm. Let's just hope she gets that BYU athletic scholarship. She can be the dumbbell.

Fact or fiction: You've had a boat named after you.

Darkly Noon: Fiction. It's always been my dream, but growing up in a log cabin 250 miles from the ocean, this just wasn't going to happen for me.

Leighton: Fact (sorta). Remember the final mission in Top Gun? I do, and they were running air cover for the disabled USS Leighton. Now, aside from being disabled, from what I hear about the Leighton, it was very much like Julie Cooper; cruising the waters like a shark searching for something financially significant to blow. Note: I'm so proud of myself for sidestepping the obvious "packed full of seamen" comment ... oh, crap ...

Matty: Fact. Oh, I thought the question was about a goat. Guess now isn't the time to share my stories of Matty, my childhood pal at the petting zoo. One time, I got too close and he thought that my crotch was a snack. He licked and licked. Good times. But anyway, a boat? No, that's pure fiction.

Max Power: Fact. Cigarette Racing boat named Maximum Power.Ê Come on ... that's close.

Discuss Fact or fiction on the message board

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• Apparently Caleb doesn't "believe in irony." Then how would he explain rain on his wedding day, huh? Or a black fly in his Chardonay?
• During the wedding ceremony, I grabbed a knife. Alas, I could not actually cut the tension.
• Does Marissa only drink her alcohol straight up? Is there no orange or cranberry juice in Newport?
• You gotta hand it to Kirsten, that babe can cry!
• If this season has taught us anything, it's that it doesn't get much better than five guys spending a Wednesday night sharing laughs, Miller Lite and freshly-made chocolate chip cookies while singing along to The OC theme song? California, here we come indeed ...

Discuss Random Thoughts on the message board