Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Which war was more illogical: Zach vs. Seth or the United States vs. Iraq?

Matty Rich: This akin to asking which I'd prefer to watch: a tampon commercial or a Red Sox World Series montage? Can't both options be equally illogical and nauseating? I'm far from President Bush's biggest supporter, but Josh Schwartz, et al are making the Commander in Chief seem like his IQ is actually greater than that of a Post-It. Sure, there were never any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. And that nation was never linked to recent terrorist activities. And, true, more Americans have died since the mission was supposedly accomplished, but, well, uhh, Seth and Zach suck. They fight so overtly and ruin the launch of their graphic novel?!? Over a girl who doesn't show an ounce of support for their dreams? At least I laugh when I see the Bush/Chaney combination on screen; my toes curl up and I pluck out individual chest hairs when either of the other two fools utter a word.

Darkly Noon: Tough to compare. In the OC, we have a pair of backstabbing brats, neither of whom could fight his way out of a wet paper bag. In the Middle East, we have a superpower determined to depose an outlaw regime for no other reason than because it could. It's hard to argue that anything was accomplished by either endeavor, and the motives behind both feuds are scattered at best. In the end, it all comes down to the aftermath, and extent of the fallout. I hate to defend the twerp under any circumstances, but at least U.S. taxpayers won't shoulder a $168 Billion burden as a result of Seth's childishness.

Discuss Zach/Seth on the message board.

Should Trey stop taking drugs?

Darkly Noon: No way. Cut the guy a break. When you're the new kid in town, sometimes your self-esteem suffers and you need a little pick-me-up! There's no substitute for confidence. Occasionally dabbling in narcotics will help Trey acclimate to his new environs and become a better person as a result.

Matty Rich: If McGruff has taught me anything, it's that dogs can pull off the trench coat look. Moreover, is there any doubt that one of the crimes this dog rallies against is illicit drug use? For Trey to disobey such a knowledgeable canine is almost as unexpected and devious as his actions on the beach with Marissa. It's a fact that winners don't snort and snorters don't win - except the occasional snorting contests. They dominate those. My real fear is that Trey's next rebellious act will be to flout the advice of Smokey the Bear. Forests need to run for cover.

Discuss the new Trey and drugs on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Guys, trust us: forget flowers, babies or puppies. All women love The Notebook.
• 8:27 p.m EST: a record number of African-Americans appears on The OC.
• Of course Marissa would stop traffic if she dressed like Grimace. Who wouldn't slow down and at least wave at Grimace?
• Couldn't Carter's gift to Kirsten have been a time machine?

Will Kirsten die?

Darkly Noon: Doubtful. The tractor trailer struck Kirsten's Jeep squarely, but on the passenger side. The rolling of the car, while scary, is unlikely to cause more than minor head trauma. Kirsten will spend some time in the hospital with an assortment of injuries, but none of them life-threatening. Let this be a lesson to all you kids. Never get behind the wheel of a car after you've had more than one or two cellphone calls.

Matty Rich: Yes. It will be a slow and painful death. During this time, she will attempt to regain her old, unique form, occasionally remembering the reasons why Sandy - and the world at large - originally fell in love with here. But these sporadic glimpses of a happier, healthier, far funnier and more creative era in her life will not be enough to sustain consciousness. Eventually, she'll flat line, perishing from a bout of lame direction and lack of ironic wit. She'll probably be replaced by Tru Calling or something.

Discuss Kirsten on the message board.

Who is your favorite jaded love interest to skip town this season? (Carter, Rebecca, Alex, Lindsay or Jimmy)?

Darkly Noon: In order of disappearance, on a scale of 1-5 tears, we have Jimmy (5), Lindsay (3), Rebecca (1), Alex (4), and Carter (0). Jimmy is a good guy and I hated to see him go, but it's hard to argue with his desire to get as far away from the Julie Cooper train wreck as possible. Hopefully he'll return to The OC at some point. Lindsay was a cutie with potential, but the way she skipped out on Caleb and Ryan left a bad taste in my mouth. Actually, that could be from the Jim Beam I was forced to drink during Sandy's stressful, illogical reunion with Rebecca. Not a fan. Alex was a girl who brought so much to the table - great hair, an intriguing personality, a love for live music, a love for hooking up with characters of either gender - and it was a sad night when she walked off that beach with those guys from Firehouse. Carter is worthlessness personified. Good riddance...

Matty Rich: Call me a fan of rich criminals that embezzle their clients money because they need to satisfy the demands for a pony from their dirty, selfish wife, but I liked Jimmy a lot. Bidding aloha to him was difficult and not merely because I'm not entirely sure if that word means "hello" or "goodbye." The perpetual grief of Jimmy's vanishing act was only spared by the arrival of Alex. Sweet, sensual, troubled, somewhat psychotic Alex. This exit, stage midwest, caused me to rent all episodes of her old series, Skin. There are two hours I can't ever get back.

Discuss Old characters on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• Kirsten's awful accident has its silver lining. Californians feeling the pinch at the pump can take solace in the fact that there is one fewer gas-guzzling SUV on the street.
• Kids, don't worry. They're just actors, and that's not real cocaine. It's just anthrax.
• My roommate had the line of the night. After returning from a brief phone conversation, he asked us: "Did I miss anything good?"
• We had a good laugh over that question.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.