Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty R. Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

Name: Mr. Blue Favorite character: Kirsten The OC words to live by: Sandy: Face it, your mom‘s a hottie. And I got her. Contact: Private Message

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

Should Ryan and Marissa get back together?

Matty: Why do I feel as though we've had this question before? Why do I feel as though we'll have it at least 17 more times as the seasons continue? Even though Ryan could beat up Dawson with a sneeze, he is imitating the boy with the creek a little too much here. But at least Joey was cool and hot; it made sense that Dawson would keep going back to her. Marissa, meanwhile, is annoying, gaunt, a head case, slim, whiny, puny, tearful, twig-like, a drunk, skeletal, young and really, really thin. Is anyone else wishing that Oliver had turned that gun on Marissa in the hotel room ... and pulled the trigger? Marissa is just gonna end up with Pacey anyway, Ryno, let her go.

Leighton: Tough question. If you say no, there isn't much room for the Zack-Kelly-back-and-forth twists that keep the storyline going. Instead, they'd have to fill the show with tangents like Julie C. and Caleb not being able to consummate their wedding night because they forgot the Viagra. Bummer. If you say yes, we're sure to be subjected to more Ryan/Marissa alone time that's so painful to watch. Am I the only one who finds the two ''lead characters the least interesting of the whole bunch? Although with all that's going on in her life, Marissa is a cute hand-bag-sized Uzi away from going postal. So, for the sake of preserving the groin-grabbingly-exciting drama of the show, I'm going to say yes. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Mr. Blue: Is this based on the forgotten STD episode?Ê Or is it based on where the show is right now?Ê Here's the thing:Ê Ryan's a playa.Ê Take it from me; once a playa, always a playa.Ê You can take the playa out of the game, but you can't take the game out of the playa ... I think I watch Direct EFX on MTV too much, I have no idea what I just said, but I do have a headache ... Here's the (other) thing: deep down Ryan is a problem solver.Ê Like Mr. Wolff in Pulp Fiction, he has shown up to clean up everyone else's mess.Ê If you don't know what I'm talking about, you should watch The OC.ÊOr Pulp Fiction.Ê Speaking of which, you should watch both ... Anyway, he and she will get back together, and they should.Ê He completes her, She's his lobster, they had each other at "Welcome to the OC, Bitch."Ê I think we all know what we're talking about ... They'll be great, unless Teresa shows up aga ... Did anyone see next week's previews?!?!

Discuss Ryan and Marissa on the message board


Think of a screen name for whichever characters you'd like to.

Mr. Blue: Julie: BtchnMa69
Caleb: ScrgeMcDuck
Sandy: DrtyHppy420
Luke: IMAWESOME
Ryan: No need, he's from Chino. He still can't use a computer.
Kirsten: Cougar (in tribute to our Canadian demographic)
Marissa: Pllpopper18

Matty: Julie: shoopingCoop
Seth: Comic Book Guy
Sandy: ibrowalot
Marissa: bingenpurge
Caleb: CalebNichol

Leighton: Summer: Sethsmybeeotch04
Marissa: SerialKilla2be
Kirsten: SandmanLuvr1
Seth: CptnOatsNCo
Julie: WilldoU4$$

Discuss Screen Names on the message board


Random thoughts/questions (Part I)
- Shockingly, when Marissa was holding an ice cream cone on the pier, she didn't take a bite.
- I think I liked Zack and Slater's secret handshake better than Sandy and Jimmy's. You can't beat the snap at the end.
- "Hey Marissa ... the summer will rock!" With moving prose like that, I don't see how Luke lost her.
- Summer. Holding a drill. And a hammer. Oh yes.
- Didn't Summer look exponentially skinnier last night? Don't do it Summer! Don't give in to Marissa's ways. You look great as it is.


How would you propose to Julie Cooper?

Leighton: I wouldn't. That aside, I think "Cal" could have done much better. First off, would you ever propose in front of all your friends and family if you weren't 100% sure she'd say yes? It's a recipe for disaster. I once proposed to a girl I was dating in front of all my friends. She reluctantly accepted, but two days later stole the ring, my Caesar Crespo rookie card and ran away with Eddie Murphy. Turned out she was a man. But I digress ... Caleb should have done something with more sentimental value to both of them. Perhaps he could have taken Julie back to the street corner on which he first picked her up. I mean, there's history there; THAT'S romance. But, then again, what do I know? Besides the fact that it takes a big dog to weigh a ton, not much.

Mr. Blue: I would have drunkenly run in, knocked over my ex-girlfriend, pushed away the most powerful oldÊwindbag in town, thrown her over my shoulder, and drunkenly run out of the restaraunt, where we would shareÊa moment under the stars.ÊThen, after she told me about her STD, I'd leave ... needless to say, I wouldn't.

Matty: I've said it before and I'll say it again: Hangman. Picture the scene: Julie is putting away her whips and chains, while Caleb is removing his blind fold and carefully peeling the candle wax off his skin. They lie side by side and pull out a pad and pen for their nightly, pre-bedtime game of Hangman. Caleb goes first. Four words, a question mark at the end. After convincing Julie that the correct answer is not, 'Who haven't I tanged?' she eventually puts two and two together - makes a mental note for her next foursome - and responds in the positive to the words before her: Will you marry me?

Discuss Julie's proposal/OC on the message board


In honor of recent programming, The Swan and the Miss USA Pageant: Who would win a Newport beauty pageant (Hailey, Kirsten, Summer, Marissa or Julie)?

Matty: My loyal fans - thanks, mom and dad - may be surprised by my answer, but I am not going with Kirsten. It's just too hard to imagine her winning when she is writhing in pain after an attack by her Tonya Harding-like sister. That's right, Hailey is the proverbial bomb diggity when it comes to looks, but she has that underhanded side to her. And with her strip club connections, there's little doubt that she'd hire someone to take the obvious front runner out before the event begins. That leaves Marissa - whose lack of talent in the talent competition and disappearing act in the bathing suit portion would take her out of the running - Summer and Julie. Summer would, like, totally, fail in the interview and Julie would be arrested for public nudity and lewdness in the talent segment, leaving Hailey to wear the crown.

Leighton: Is this even a contest? Kirsten, hands down. The judges would feel so bad for the others they would have to start giving out awards like "Miss Con-genitals-ality" to Julie for her backstage antics and "Best Impression of a Mop" to Marissa. Seriously, Hailey has an outside shot (say 7-1) because she's from the same bloodline and Summer will finish a respectable third as the "fresh upstart," but Kirsten takes the crown. She's a thoroughbred, the Diane Lane of Orange County. On a side note, what would Marissa's talent be? If she got up there and somehow not-sucked for her portion of the talent program, I'm pretty sure she'd solidify a fourth place finish over her promiscuous mom.

Mr. Blue: Clearly, Hailey would run away with it.ÊSummer and Marissa are just a little too skinny; Kirsten, unfortunately, wouldn't qualify, as she'd have to be in the MRS. Newport competition (she'd win so easily).Ê And Julie, well, she just blows (literally) and the judges in the OC would be far beyond that ... How funny would it be if a drunk Luke showed up at the pageant, during Julie's question and answer portion.Ê "Luke, what are you doing here?"Ê "I was just chillin to the Seger with some Bacardi Breezers, you know how it is.Ê I had to see you before I left, just to tell you that you do look fat in that dress.Ê But now it's too late ... and on top of it, the secret's out.Ê My dad's gay genes have gone to me ... I could make you girths look stho much more fabulousth ..."

Discuss Beauty pageant/OC on the message board Ê


Random thoughts/questions (Part II)
- Mrs. Ward, we know your husband is gay. That sucks. But you can still visit your injured son in the hospital.
- Speaking of which, these kids spend more time in emergency rooms than class rooms.
- Julie must be blocking me, too. She's never online.
- The episode began with Marissa crying and ended with Marissa crying. Enjoy that, Ryan.

Discuss Random Thoughts/OC on the message board