Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty R. Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon *Guest Roundtabler* Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one.

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

Should Jimmy and Hailey get together?

Matty: The issue isn't whether or not Jimmy should tap that kiester, but where he now ranks in the pantheon of all-time television studs. Let's not forget that he was married to Julie who, while easier to get into than a pair of clown shoes, is still quite a piece of taffy. Then, of course, there's the coup d'etat: Kirsten and Hailey. Jimmy could make his own movie version of The Banger Sisters. I'd buy it (gosh, would I ever buy it). This delicious duo might very well catapult Jimmy Cooper above all competition. I mean, Dylan McKay snagged Valerie and Kelly, vixens galore, while Zack Morris enjoyed romantic interludes with all three female leads on Saved by the Bell. Did Fred Mertz ever love Lucy in his own naughty way? Would Ethel have joined in? Did Darren ever Bewitch Jeannie? Probably just in his dreams. Regardless, Jimmy comes out on top by having been on top of these two beautiful ladies. He's afraid of losing the restaurant by losing his inhibitions with Hailey? Jimmy, you've already won, man, you've already won.

Leighton: Depends. I, personally, think they should go for it. Jimmy can't get the Nichol that he longed for as a young man, so he might as well go for the younger-lesser-attractive-but-still-smoking-hot sister. Keep in mind that we should think about how far they should take it. Fans of Ryan and Marissa as a couple should be against this. Here's why (it's a stretch, but hey, I'm from the South, we do these things all the time): If Jimmy and Hailey got married, Ryan and Marissa would be cousins (sorta). That's your cue Summer: "Ewww." Ê

Darkly Noon: Please. Jimmy and Hailey need to remember where they live. This isn't the Suffolk County, it's the OC, and if these two actually let sound judgment and the feelings of others get in the way of a sordid love affair, they're kidding themselves. It may not be worth it in the end, but who cares? Life is short, and few things are worse than decades of regret, wondering about the one that got away. Leave the rational thinking to Sandy Cohen and get on with it. Additionally, they must remember that everything is relative, especially in Newport. As well as being a down-and-out divorcŽ, Jimmy is a reputed white-collar criminal whose ex-wife was just discovered sleeping with their daughter's ex-boyfriend. Hailey has a 30-year track record of rebelliousness, demonstrated most recently by her stint in a Los Angeles strip club. Would a liaison between them seem that scandalous by comparison?

Discuss Jimmy and Hailey on the message board


What were the Chino guests at the party thinking about as they witnessed the Newport drama?

Darkly Noon: (from the mind of an anonymous party Attendee, one of Eddie's friends): That guy Ryan looks awfully familiar. Dear God, somebody get that girl some food. How do her clothes even stay on? She's so thin, I feel like she's going to blow away in the wind. And what the hell is that pretty boy jock doing here. Where are these people coming from? You know what? Eddie looks a lot like the guy from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I could really go for a St. Ides 40. And a pack of Kool menthols. I wonder if Eddie would get mad if I smoked up at this party.

Matty: I can't believe I'm guest starring on The OC!

Leighton: Oh my god, what's he wearing? A blue t-shirt? That's soooo last season.

Discuss Chino v. Newport on the message board


Random thoughts/questions (Part I)
- That episode had more than a schtickel of Jewish humor.
- Julie in the pool house: "I am gonna find Marissa." Ryan: "Not if i find her first." They must have edited out the "I'm rubber and you're glue" exchange.
- After I saw the breakfast spread that Hailey concocted, well, I had to change my pants.
- When does a plane ever arrive early?
- I wonder what Ryan's boys in Chino would have thought of his cell phone going off as he got shoved to the ground.


The OC Files has already provided fans with a drinking game and dress up game. Come up with a new game based on the show and/or its characters.

Leighton: I'd like to see some sort of game where Julie Cooper is in charge of decorating a room. I mean, come on, does anyone buy this? The show seems to credit her with a penchant for Feng Shui. How did she harness this talent? Did she become so familiar with replacing furniture (most notably broken beds) that she decided to make a hobby of it? Face it, the only thing she and, say, Martha Stewart, have in common is future jail time. Yes kids, even the people of Newport can be convicted of sleeping with minors. So that brings me to the game. It could consist of an empty room with a toolbar of OC decorating options. You could fill it with typical stuff: couches, chairs, drug addicts, etc. Or, if it were a room in Julie's house, you could fill it with things that will be useful to her: a psychiatrist's couch 'cause, damn; I'm sure they're eligible for family discounts; wall hangings; a picture of Luke, perhaps, to give Caitlin something to aspire to; a mechanical bull - hopefully house guests will view this as an acceptable riding option; and finally, a trunk or chest to store odds and ends such as booze, Luke's clothes, whips, Marissa, etc. The game would come complete with Julie Cooper sound effects. After all, I'm fairly certain she's used to saying: "A little to the left ... right there, yes, yes!!!"

Darkly Noon: I would like to see something along the lines of the Seth & Anna Dress-up game, but involving the many sides of Luke Ward. Perhaps people could select which Luke they would like to see on next week's show. So far we have seen, among other things, this character portrayed as:
- The stereotypical, overly-aggressive jock
- A good friend willing to put his differences aside
- A sympathetic victim of homophobia in Newport
- An introspective charmer playing the guitar at school
- A young stud willing to do his ex-girlfriend's mother
- The tragic victim of a fatal car crash (?)
So versatile. Good potential there.

Matty: I'm thinking Caleb-opoly. Newport's leading real estate mogul would obviously want a game named after him, so who are we to argue? Forget the thimble, top hat and dog; players would be the Range Rover, the comic book and the Julie Cooper dildo. Land on the Julie Cooper residence and purchase a (cheap) hotel for the square. Watch out for the Go Directly to Jail card, though, and avoid a reunion with Ryan's brother. Luckily, the pile of Sandy Cohen cards will instantly release you if this occurs. Other pieces of property include Hailey's House of Stripping, The Summer Shack of Love and The Ryan Atwood Fight Club. Pass Go and collect sexual favors from Kirsten. What? It's MY game!

Discuss New games on the message board


Among the seder participants, who would find the Afikomen? (Note to non-Jewish scholars: the "Afikomen" is the piece of Matzoh bread that is hidden somewhere in the house for all to find after the meal is finished.)

Matty: This is a sensitive subject for me. Never, in my history of family seders, have I found this mysterious piece of Matzoh. I'm pretty sure my sister was less than a year old when she stumbled upon it before I did; forget the second shooter or the 1985 NBA Draft Lottery, why has no one looked into this obvious conspiracy? Anyway, Ryan obviously found the Afikomen last night. Why? You can take the boy out of Chino, but you cannot take the underhanded, break-the-rules-to-survive-in-Chino out of the boy. In other words, he cheated! As the nana hid the Matzoh, do you really think that Ryan kept his eyes closed?!? If so, you probably think that those weapons of mass destruction will turn up any day now. Yes, The OC Files is going political, they just better assign a panel to look into Ryan's sabotaging of this Jewish tradition next.

Leighton: Who found the Matzoh? That's easy. Summer did. She was like an uber Jew last night. I loved it. The real question here is where she found it, and I have the inside scoop: Summer found Matzoh in Chino. Matzoh had run away to the only place it had heard of outside Newport, borrowed a dress from a Wheat Thin that realistically should be about four sizes too large and helped set up an engagement party for the Wheat Thin and a Triscut. It was just what Matzoh kneaded.ÊÊ

Darkly Noon: Passover may begin in early Spring, but it was the unflappable Summer that defined this particular seder. The fervor with which she strove to experience the faith of Sandy's heritage was both endearing and impressive, and would undoubtedly continue throughout the ceremonial dinner. Scouring the Cohens' large ocean front home with precision and fortitude, Summer would locate the Afikomen in record time, leaving her competition in the dust and capping off a tremendous Jewish debut. It is also worth noting that Seth Cohen is a lucky young gentleman, for this is perhaps the cutest, most attractive wannabe Jew in Passover history. She made me want to convert. Should Executive Producer McG ever decide to remove her from The OC (heaven forbid), Rachel Bilson can bank on a promising career as Judaism's worldwide recruitment director.

Discuss Passover on the message board Ê


Random thoughts/questions (Part II)
- Yes, Seth, Wolverine and Cyclops were opposites that got along. But what about the cartoon cat and Paula Abdul? What about them?!?
- A friend upon seeing Marissa with a somewhat chubby little girl in her arms: "Marissa can't hold her!"
- Ok, seriously this time, when Marissa was crying in Ryan's arms, who was not waiting for her to scream: "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so ... scared."
- Anyone wanna defend Anna now?
- To paraphrase another friend: did anyone else become allergic to their chair when Sandy and his mother hugged?

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board