Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

Will Julie and Caleb's marriage survive its recent troubles?

Matty Rich: This isn't about Julie - everyone (Caleb included) has been aware of her personality traits and/or "personal sacrifices" made throughout the years in order to evolve from a downtrodden hoe from Riverside to a well-off hoe in Newport. Cal knew what he was getting into when he hitched his money bags to this bootylicious gravy train. No, friends, the survival of this masochistic matrimony depends on our insecure, supposedly indomitable ruler of Orange County. The truth is that Caleb is quite domintable. Beneath the gruff exterior lies an Australian accent .. and a man that just wants to be loved. Can he believe in the true identity of his whore of a wife and see her for what she is pretending to be? A caring, emotional whore of a wife? Once the real Caleb stands up and puts one of those fingers on each hand up, he'll realize that Julie is holding on tightly to them. Don't let go, big guy.

Leighton S.: Surprisingly, it should. That's not to say it will, though. Lately, Cal's been moodier than Tara Reid at a pharmacist's convention. I don't get it. What happened to the I-just-had-a-heart-attack-so-I-want-to-be-caring Cal? I guess if my wife's porn identity surfaced at the unveiling of one of my business ventures I'd be less than ecstatic, but c'mon. You have to admit, Cal, the lighting was tastefully done. Julie, save giving some thought to having you axed, has been nothing but a loving wife. She's trying to make it work. Give her a chance, Cal. After all, The Porn Supremacy starring Caleb Nichol? Its got a ring to it.

Darkly Noon: It will survive, but only as long as Caleb wants it to. Come on, Jules. Meeting Lance at the same motel where you and Luke used to get your freak on? Kissing him in full view of Caleb's private investigators? Not exactly discreet. He is just biding his time, building his case and plotting his next move. If I were you, Julie, I'd come clean and beg for mercy. Maybe he'll throw a few hundred thousand at you in a quick divorce settlement. You don't want to push this man any closer to the proverbial edge. Caleb has both the motive and the means to make an "accident" happen.

Discuss Julie and Caleb on the message board.

If you were staging an under cover sting operation to bust the school's most popular water polo player, his drug-laden friends and girlfriend, what would you wear?

Darkly Noon: Harbor School visor. Aviator shades. Blue oxford button-down. No pants.

Matty Rich: I've got this Thundercats shirt at home - it represents the most overlooked cartoon force in the history of mankind. These were a bunch of misunderstood creatures who, while never undercover because it would have been difficult to hide Lion-O's flowing red locks and Panthro's panther-like features, still managed to fight evil deeds. I'd like to think they would have been hip to the ecstasy-busting scene. Anyway, I'd probably wear jeans and a dark hooded sweatshirt pulled closely over my face. I wouldn't want anyone to recognize me.

Leighton S.: I'd probably go with the Mickey Mouse costume. Although, kids on E would either love me or hate me. If they loved me, perhaps one of the water polo-ettes would want to go back to Mickey's place for some Disney Magic. On the other hand, if they hated me, Luke v2.0 might end up kicking me in the Mickey Nuts. Does Mickey have nuts? Clearly, further thought is needed.

Discuss the new undercover operation on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Marissa undercover? What a great idea - if she turns sideways, no one can see her!
• For a water polo party, there was very little water and even less polo.
• Call me conservative, but I question the judgment of Jess' parents to let her attend a party a week after overdosing on drugs.
• If Ryan were in The Simpsons, he'd narc on Homer's stash.

Carter Buckley: smooth player or underhanded pig?

Leighton S.: Oh, he's smooth. You work that closely with the hottest female in Newport and you don't give in to temptation? Forget Benedict XVI, how about C.Buck I? No? Well at the very least, Carter should win an award. Granted, that award would probably be called the annual "What the Buckley were you thinking?", but he's a shoe in. If I didnÕt like Sandy so much, I'd be standing off third [base] waving Carter home. Is it just me, or would their love-child be the most attractive person in history? 'Cause let's face it, Kirsten's smoking hot - white smoke, change the world, re-name yourself after a breakfast, hot.

Darkly Noon: Neither. One must be coherent in order to be considered underhanded, and any smoothness Carter Buckley once had vanished when he began growing that scraggly-ass beard. Swish! But seriously, folks. The guy is a washed-up waste of space, and a lush to boot. While his drink of choice, Jim Beam, may have be smooth, sophisticated and distinctly oak-flavored, Mr. Buckley boasts none of these traits. The supposedly great "editor" doesn't know where he is half the time, and wherever he goes, trouble and lawsuits invariably follow. His career is going down faster than Matty Rich on Kirsten!

Matty Rich: How about "man's man?" Man, this guy is a stud and a half. It starts with the name, Carter Buckley, and it continues right here ... because love is blind, that's what I'm trying to say. In the case of Kirsten, it's also drunk and delirious for her disloyalty to Sandy. You know what they say ("they" being Chuck Woolery and Roger Lodge): an emotional affair is often more hurtful than a physical one. So simply because our heretofore perfect, luscious, sensual, caring, beautiful blonde heroine may have came to her senses before she came to Carter (think about it) does not mean that she was acting properly for the last few weeks. It's been a winding road, Kirsten, but when you get back, find the handcuffs, find the chocolate sauce, find Sandy and find your way home.

Discuss Carter Buckley on the message board.

Last night, Carter said an "American Idol winner is not allowed on the radio of [his] car." Do you share this philosophy?

Darkly Noon: I swear, Carter, if you hate on my boy Clay one more time, you are gonna get straight jacked.

Matty Rich: Kelly Clarkson can sing, let's not kid ourselves. Whether she is breaking away from a hurtful relationship or expounding on the trouble with love, this inaugural winner of the show that has changed America has vocal chords that make Whitney Houston seem like a crazy drug addict. There's not much more to say about it. Matty Rich, out!

Leighton S.: Hard to say. I don't have a radio; or a car now that I think about it. But if I did, I'd like to think I wouldn't be as judgmental. But I'd still be selective. Reuben? Too Salty. Clay? He didn't win, did he? Kelly C.? Absolutely. I listen to "Since youÕve been gone" every morning. How? I don't know. I don't have a radio.

Discuss American Idol on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• Despite Darkly's repeated assertions, Clay Aiken was not the winner of the second American Idol.
• Apparently Zach's heroes are Roger Clemens, Benedict Arnold and Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
• So which part of the midwest did Lance return to?
• Hopefully, he'll say hi to Alex, Anna and Lindsay when he gets there.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.