Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Rutherford B. Chillin' Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: I'm just saying that you're daughter has an extraordinary amount of vim

Name: Mr. Blue Favorite character: Kirsten The OC words to live by: Sandy: Face it, your mom‘s a hottie. And I got her. Contact: Private Message

"You know what i think? This year is not as good as last." - Seth, 8:02 PM, EST. Do you agree?

Rutherford B. Chillin': Are you kidding me? Last year was terrific. For starters, Seth wasn't a raving lunatic back then; he was actually a funny, interesting character. But more importantly, think of all the wordplay you could do with 2004. I mean, "Stay Alive in 2005" is a pretty good slogan to, well, live by, but "Do your chores in 2004" kept rooms clean everywhere and "Shut the door in 2004" helped to keep heating bills at an all-time low, much like the humor quotient of this response!

Darkly Noon: You hear that, Josh Schwartz? McG? Everyone else involved with producing the show? Even your own fictional characters hate season two.

Mr. Blue: I think Seth is delusional. This year he dated Alex. Alex! Unbelieveable. Plus, he didn't get in trouble for running away, and last year Marissa was a complete wet blanket character. This year, she's making everyone else's life impossible, which is fantastic. Plus, Summer's speaking in proverbs (you can't ride two horses with one @ss). If that's not a good fortune cookie, I don't know what is! Lastly, if you just look back and think last year is better because you know how it turned out, then you're afraid of change, for better or worse. I think that's the point of the show. Sadly, the OC is now trying to make points about teen life. Can't we all just be rich, addicted and crazy? Isn't that good enough? However, 9 out of 10 people think last year was better (according to a completely unscientific, non-existent poll).

Discuss Last year on the message board.

Looks like Kirsten is after more than editorial guidance from her new acquaintance, Carter. What will become of this relationship?

Mr. Blue: I think it can only result in one thing - high comedy. Is it me, or did Carter forget to be drunk at one point during Kirsten's visit to his apartment? Even though they'll end up together, wouldn't it be entertaining for Kirsten to break up with Sandy, only to find Carter wants her money to funnel to Cuba to help Castro? In the meantime, Sandy decides to make a run at Julie after seeing her masterwork? That's entertainment. And how great would the group trip to Communist Havanna be?

Rutherford: What do you think will become of this relationship? It's obvious what Kirsten wants from Carter: a name. Kirsten lives in Newport, the land of the utmost upper crust. She can't really expect to be married to a man with a name as bland as Sandy Cohen, can she? I mean, Sandy Cohen? The least he could do is change it to Sandy Cohen III. But Carter Buckley? That's a name you can get your manservant to hang your tennis whites on. However, if CarBuck keeps drinking and wearing unwashed, lame bandÊt-shirts, this relationship will soon become a "Husker don't."

Darkly: I believe it's quite obvious that anyone who listens to the Scorpions' Rock You Like a Hurricane at peak volume, especially while drunk at 9 a.m., is the proverbial yin to Kirsten's yang. Expect Sanford to be served with divorce papers by the end of the month.

Discuss Kirsten and Carter on the message board.

What was - or what would be - your ideal pep rally experience?

Darkly: The Porn Identity.

Mr. Blue: Personally, it would involve a giant burning horse. Top it off with a good Anchorman rumble, a bottle of 80-year old scotch, some poetry and many leather bound books. Now we have a party!

Rutherford: I remember it like it was last night. We had gathered on the beach at a pep rally to support the fight between aÊbrooding out-of-towner and two skeazy ex-cons. We made signs, a bonfire, and signs about bonfires. Unfortunately, lameness prevailed and the fight never happened. It's a shame, too. I think we really had a good shot at All-Section Beach Fighting this year.

Discuss your ideal Pep Rally on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• To the dismay of certain males who love athletic girls, and who really love Kirsten, she just didn't look all that cute in the golf visor.
• If you TiVo the show, then freeze-frame the "Porn Identity" case, you can read the plot summary: A cyborg porn director goes back in time to the '80s to filmÊa movie whose title is a play on a popular movie from 2002.
• Man, the more we learn about Julie, the cooler Luke's conquest of her becomes.
• Speaking of Luke, I wonder what he is up to right now.

Time to play "what if." Describe the results had Ryan gone at it with Alex's two degenerate thugs.

Rutherford: Worst. Threesome. Ever.

Darkly: This had all the makings of a full-scale riot, with the cover of night and a loosely-controlled inferno raging nearby. In reality, though, they would only come to near-fists. As in, when two (or three) people are ready to throw down before realizing they're from the same cell block. Then, they proceed to reminisce about those crazy times - whittling shivs out of their toenails, threatening the "new meat," arguing over who is really dating Christie Brinkley, etc. - in a night of drunken revelry.

Mr. Blue: Ratings would have gone up. And Ryan would have ended up going home with Alex. You do the math. (You know he would have crushed them both and Marissa would take care of him and his black eye. Then they would have ended up as messed up as ever. But for once in this crazy world, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks who plays for the other team would have won out! Have you ever noticed that only the rich girls get what they want in the OC? Theresa, Anna, Lindsey and Alex have all gotten a taste of the good life, only to be sent back to slums they came from. Then again, as we know from real life, if a trashy girl gets it all, the results are never good. Just look at Paris and Britney.)

Discuss The fight that wasn't on the message board.

What was Captain Oats thinking as his likeness was burned in effigy?

Mr. Blue: Burn motherfu*ker, burn!

Darkly: What are those two skeazy ex-cons doing here?

Rutherford: They're going to bump me down to Lance Corporal for this one.

Discuss Captain Oats on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• The breakup of Alex and Marissa is sure going to make things awkward when the whole gang hangs out at the Bait Shop next week!
• Hey, how excited are you for the new film company Sandy is starting up?!
• Does it get any better than drinking Guinness to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, watching the O.C., and flipping to March Madness during commercials?
• Probably.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.