Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

Assign a hockey position to each of the players from last night's pick up game.

Matty Rich: Seth is the towel boy because he'll spontaneously combust if he doesn't have something to complain about. He also has experience with dirty bathrooms and being whipped. Grow a spine, you blabbering idiot. Meanwhile, it's a little known fact that Ryan actually started on the Chino hockey team - they'd take a break from stealing cars by donning the jerseys of The Chino Tracks. Fans would sit on the wrong side of the arena from the team and good times would be had by all. He'll be our center. Summer will star between the pipes because we'll take advantage of any opportunity we can get to make reference to her "five hole" and/or "top shelf." Lastly, Marissa will star as the team's left wing. Why? Because the right wing doesn't care for lesbianism! Zing!

Leighton S.: Wow. Despite the positions they were playing last night, I'd have to field a team that took advantage of each of these players' skills. For example, Ryan would be a fourth string defender. You know, someone who grew up playing in a completely different league; scrappy kid who has the potential to score once or twice, but is more comfortable breaking skulls every time on the ice. I'd pay money to see Marty McSorley guest star as Ryan's deadbeat dad. Summer, she'd probably make for the best hockey player of the four - small, elusive, a good puck ... handler. She's no Sakic, Iginla or St. Louis, though, so she'd probably fall as a second-line winger; good for a point or two a game, scorching one-timer. Marissa, she's tough. Not in the hockey sense, but in the oh-god-where-do-I-put-the-daughter-of-the-guy-who-paid-for-our-new-zamboni tough. With any luck, she could be used as a secret weapon on the power play. She's so skinny she could slip between defenders unnoticed. But seemingly lacking in raw talent, I don't think Marissa is going to pan out. She'll be traded for an eighth round draft pick when my GM realizes she spent the salary cap on Italian-tailored silk warm-ups. Then there's Seth - a coach's worst nightmare. He's the one kid that should have never made it past Pee-Wee, but is too old to go back. Unless Seth's quirkiness pans out as a competitive knack for goaltending, I'm screwed. This kid is a wet noodle, one who would probably average a goal a game Ð for the wrong team. Superhero powers turned to Hasek-like puck stopping prowess? Great. Otherwise, Seth's got mid-season demotion to equipment manager written all over him. At least his mom's a Cougar, eh?

Darkly Noon: Someone needs to coach this rag-tag squad and Summer is the only one up to it. Plus, Summer donning a helmet and pads is simply unfair to viewers. Because he has demonstrated an ability to play rough, Ryan can handle the defensive role. Seth is unquestionably the center ... of attention. The self-obsessed punk would have it no other way. Marissa will serve as the team's goaltender, since she loves having things slipped between the pads. So to speak. She probably won't be very good, though, because with Marissa, anyone and everyone shoots ... and scores (Boooo!)

Discuss Hockey positions on the message board.

Should Summer have shown Seth the postcard from Zach?

Darkly Noon: Oh, absolutely. The leaning tower of Pisa is one of the world's architectural and historical marvels. Built in stages between 1173 and 1350, its lean first became obvious in the late 12th Century. In defiance of physics laws (and with help from over 830 tons of lead added during the 1990s), it still stands today, affording hundreds of thousands of people the chance to climb the 294 steps to its bell tower each year. Depriving Seth the chance to see and learn about this amazing structure would be disgraceful.

Matty Rich: Summer should have shown Seth the backside of her hand. What exactly does she see in this whining, self-serving dweeb? Zach bends over more than Gumby to make Summer happy, she dumps him the instant before a romantic trip to Italy and days later Seth cannot handle the sight of a postcard or the word "hot?!?" Here's a tip for that curly-haired, pathetic, waste of a formerly great character: if you can't handle the heat, get out of the Orange County. We despise you.

Leighton S.: Yes. Anything to stop his blubbering. Show him your tax return if need be. When did Summer become the anchor of this show? I feel sorry for her. She's the only one of the "Fantastic (ly-Fledgling) Foursome" that hasn't jumped shark on her character. Show him the postcard, read him excerpts from the Torah, BRING BACK SETH!!!

Discuss Zach's postcard on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Ah yes, I remember my last spontaneous, 34-hour (one way) bus trip during the school year.
• Of course Marissa picked out licorice "bits." She'd never eat full ropes.
• It's too bad Julie didn't visit Marissa at the mall - we could have referred to it as a "strip mall!"
• Is this thing on?

How do you feel about Johnny Zero getting cancelled?

Leighton S.: I'm pretty upset, actually. But I have faith. I'll spend my time without the show anticipating the dramatic and sure-to-be successful return: "Next on Fox Friday: Vin Diesel stars as Frankie G. who's Johnny Calvo in: 'J.Z. Returns Ð The Calvo-rrection.'

Darkly Noon: Not unlike when Fox pulled the plug on Skin in 2003, Darkly is too devastated for words. Like Olivia Wilde (Alex), who recovered from the demise of Skin and turned up in Newport, we can only hope that Franky G. bounces back from this devastating career blow with a recurring role on The OC.

Matty Rich: In eighth grade, I started a letter-writing campaign to rescue Saved by the Bell: The College Years from cancellation. Freshman year of high scool? Ditto for Party of Five. In order for Matty Rich to be the savior of Frankie G. who is starring as Johnny Calvo in the show, Johnny Zero, however, I'm gonna have to step up my game: that's right, I'm gonna go write an email to FOX. Nothing, except for sheer laziness and a complete indifference for this show, can stop me.

Discuss Johnny Zero on the message board.

Ok, come clean: what is the name of the pornographic movie from your past?

Darkly Noon: Tang-hai Noon.

Matty Rich: Matty and Darkly Sitting in a Tree ...

Leighton S.: I was desperate, hopped up on Twinkies. My only option? Obese porn. My film debut? "Lay-a-ton 'o ass". It's how I got my pen-name. My only regret? "Lay-a-ton 'o ass 34". I lost my motivation. Can I go back to the hockey question now?

Discuss Porn movies on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• If Summer's "ultimate fantasy" is sleeping at the mall, well, sorry Seth.
• So the mall tent could hold up to four people. What is that, approximately six Marissas?
• How was Julie's movie called, "The Porn Identity?" How did they spoof a movie that was years away from existing at the time?
• Beck's new song was featured on the show last night. If you listen closely, you can make out the lyrics: "Where it's at! My career's gone south and I need the cash! Where it's at!"

Discuss Random Thoughts on the message board.