Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty R. Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Mr. Blue Favorite character: Kirsten The OC words to live by: Sandy: Face it, your mom‘s a hottie. And I got her. Contact: Private Message

Name: Leighton S. Favorite character: Seth The OC words to live by: Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don‘t know because it stays there! That‘s why we must go! Contact: Private Message

THE ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

What, if anything, can Marissa do to win Ryan back?

Matty: Learning the intricacies of video games is a start. Common interests are always important. But when she tried to act all cool about her power of the saber at lunch, well, she didn't sound very cool. So forget that. And we'll keep this clean for our younger audience. So, how else can Marissa win Ryan's affection again? Baked goods are a definite start. Patience, understanding, complete honesty in regards to the mistakes she made in the past, her feelings for him and her visions of their future together ... all vital steps in any path towards reconciliation. I'd simply tell Marissa to be herself and hope for the best, but that self basically just includes a lot of whining, very little body weight and a surprisingly deep voice.

Leighton: Well, my first (and only) suggestion would be to whore herself out. But she did that and it still didn't work. So I don't know where she goes from here. The writers tried to make her cool last night by having her play video games. She, and by "she" I mean the character AND the actress, couldn't pull it off. If Ryan and Marissa are going to get back together, she's going to have to find some sort of identity that he can relate to. Right now, she's just a pretty face with a penchant for whining. Ê

Max Power: Nothing, it's over for Marissa. I mean, I'm sure that the show will have Marissa and Ryan get back together. It's like a Rachel and Ross thing. Even Jimmy Cooper said it best, they've never been just friends, so I'm sure that they're going to get back together at some point. Meanwhile, Marissa should go out, hang out with the swim team (the swim team being popular must be a California thing; these were the guys you made fun of for shaving their entire body at my school) and wait for the eventual fallout between Theresa and Ryan and swoop back in to pick up the pieces. Lord knows she's desperate enough for that.

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In honor of Uncle Sean, tell us about your crazy uncle.

Max Power: Crazy Uncle Art was a fighter pilot in Vietnam. Luckily, he was never shot down, but he was once shot in the neck. He'd have amazing stories about landing on carriers, shooting down NVA planes, going off to Thailand for some R&R (not stories you should be telling to a 10-year old). He was also the biggest chauvinist pig that I've ever met; he bashed women, gays, democrats. Needless to say, he was a riot. He would make outlandish comments to my mother and then sit back and watch her go crazy.

Matty: Well, my uncle has won two Tony Awards. Two! How many has your uncle won?!? Of course, he also doesn't know my sister's real name.

Leighton: My dad's brother is somewhat of a loose cannon. One time (when airport security wasn't so formidable) my uncle and his friend were pulled off a plane because they had had a few too many cocktails. In anger over their removal, the two somehow rented a convertible from an airport rental agency. As I said, these were days when airport security was a little more lax, as my uncle and his friend were soon to be found driving down the runway. If that weren't enough, these two (intoxicated) gentlemen had come up with the idea to have one person (my uncle) stand on the trunk of the convertible with a rope tied to the steering wheel for control and the other (his friend) crouch down in the front seat working the gas and brake pedals. Where they got the rope from I'll never know, but my Uncle David and the OC's Uncle Sean seem to have one thing in common: they like the booze.

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Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

- So the Cohens give Ryan the pool house. The Range Rover. Access to all their food and appliances. But I guess they just aren't ready to give him his own cell phone yet.
- What makes the water polo team the most popular athletes at Harbor? The Speedos? The shower caps? The complete lack of body hair?
- Please don't insult Seth with any more comparisons to Ben Affleck.
- Anyone else find it sad that the only "big O" between Marissa and Ryan is the name "Oliver?"
- $10 for a peck on the lips?!? I'm in the wrong profession.


Should Ryan have confronted Eddie with the truth about Theresa?

Leighton: I think Ryan handled the whole thing well. At first, he defended his friend by not telling Eddie where she was. Granted, he probably had another motive behind doing so; she's hot! Then, upon finding out that Eddie had a much more vested interest in Theresa (they're engaged), Ryan made another right decision by going to tell him. Ryan is showing that he can be honest and loyal (well, sorta), something the rest of the people in his life rarely are.

Max Power: First rule regarding having feelings for another guy's girl: Deny, deny, deny. Especially when that guy is a greasy, mustached, auto mechanic from Chino. Actually Eddie doesn't look that tough, but I'd watch out for that tire iron he's gotten hidden back at work. Ryan, watch your back man.

Matty: Of course. Why didn't Ryan reveal Theresa's whereabouts the first time Eddie asked about her? His motives seemed more selfish than selfless, considering the fact that Eddie is a good guy, a hard-working mechanic who has not fallen prey to the drug-induced, crime-ridden elements of Chino and is just curious about his fiance. At least Ryan came to his senses later on. Now, we can look forward to more flying fists in the name of love (as scenes from next week's episode hinted at), a life-altering decision to be made by Latino Heat and a great deal of Ryan's profound, romantic face scrunching and eye squinting. The look of constipation on Ryan's pallet when he stood before Theresa's door would be enough to melt any girl's heart.

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Choose the four characters that would have the most difficulty giving up one thing for 40 days? What would that one thing be?

Leighton: Seth, Luke, Julie and Kirsten would have the most difficult time giving something up for Lent. Now, I'm not a very religious man, but as my 1/3 Jewish, 1/3 Muslim, 1/3 Sasquatch (I'm still not sure how she has three parents, she tried to explain it to me once and my brain is still vibrating) roommate will tell you, Lent is a 40-day stint with asceticism to prove your faith in God. In my mind, this doubles as a method to make people better persons. As such, I would suggest the following:
Seth: Give up video games. His expertise is off the charts and hindering his relationship with Summer. Ten years ago, I would have never believed that my mom was right about video games, but alas, it's true. Luke: Give up stupidity. Seriously, this kid has banked on the notion that no one expects anything from him. Julie: Give up alcohol. Anything related to Julie Cooper usually can be explained as a result of drunkenness. If she were to go off the sauce, she might just realize she's donking her daughter's ex-boyfriend. Kirsten: Give up Sandy. Who are we kidding? This guy RUNS the OC. If Kirsten were to go even a few days without Sandy in her life, she'd have no reason to even be in the picture.

Matty: Speaking from the viewpoint of my fellow Jews, the Cohens, I understand the deal behind Lent, but I do not feel as though it is necessary to actively prove my faith in God. A couple post-game comments thanking Him for helping me make the game-saving tackle or blow my fast ball past a hitter who obviously did not have a strong enough faith is really all I need to showcase my piety. I just wanna see a player blame God for a loss some time, or a reporter ask why the Man Upstairs favored one team over another. But that's for another question at another round table. On to the answers:
Marissa: Give up the eating disorder. I think you've done your job, Calista Flockhart is jealous enough. (Have I beaten this underweight topic to the ground enough already?) Seth: Give up sarcasm. It's misguided anger, a crutch for you to lean on, a way to hide your insecurities. Didn't you see the Friends episode when Phoebe's psychologist boyfriend diagnosed Chandler's sarcasm as an excuse to cover up his true feelings about his parents' divorce? Think about it. Kirsten: Give up shirts. Just see how it feels for a bit. Julie: Give up Caitlin. Jimmy really would make a more responsible parent. Plus, you'd be able to save $79 every time you wanted your latest boy toy over for a romp between the sheets.

Max Power: Caleb. Could this man give up anything? I mean, I almost felt sorry for him, watching him grovel in front of Sandy for help. Could you imagine if Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner had to ask Red Sox owner John Henry for some help getting Karim Garcia and Jeff Nelson out of jail for assaulting a groundskeeper? Can't you just see Henry giving King George the Derek Lowe "suck it" arm motion? It's just out of Caleb's character to have to ask for any type of assistance. But, hey, 40 days without any old man "booty" calls, maybe heÕll learn the true meaning of Lent. As for the other three:
Julie: Since I'm on the subject of booty calls, might as well give the next spirit of Lent award to Julie Cooper. Julie, give up on your underage stud. Hey, guess what? Luke's a minor. Sinner. Marissa: Give up on Ryan for a month. Sometimes you just need a little space, a little perspective before you can be friends again (for the first time?). Jimmy: Give up your morals and go pursue Kirsten's sister, Hailey. Jimmy, you don't have much going for you right now, just forget that she's your business partner's sister-in-law and go for it. I would.

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Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

- For the record, until Marissa starts acting a lot cooler, my roommates and I are leaving our framed, autographed picture of Mischa Barton face down on the shelf.
- Please disregard the fact that my roommates and I have a framed, autographed picture of Mischa Barton.
- You know, I once "crossed my own picket line" to thoughts of Mona from Who's the Boss.
- Do you think Luke calls Julie "Mrs. Cooper" in bed? Or Summer refers to Seth as "Cohen?"
- You can still have your heart pierced, Theresa. Never settle. Always believe.

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