Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

Will Seth die of a marijuana overdose?

Matty Rich: If he does, it'll have to be a quick death. The odds of the show continuing this story line - or any story line that doesn't involve the brilliance of Johnny - beyond next week are slimmer than Marissa.

Darkly Noon: Seth dying would throw a wrench into the Files' proposed OC spin-off featuring just him, Summer and the tremendous Taylor Townsend. Then again, what would he really bring to that series? Certainly nothing that the two lovely ladies' adventures, plus the miraculous return of Luke Ward and his gay dad to California, couldn't compensate for. So sure. Make the young Mr. Cohen TV's first ever THC-related casualty for all I care.

Discuss marijuana on the message board.

What would Caleb's advice to Sandy be?

Darkly: Nice work on the wining and dining. But on a personal note, if Kirsten were to die for some reason, don't waste any time moving on. You gotta move in one of your kid's best friends, preferably one with the surname Cooper. It worked for me! Oh, and by the way, when it's time for you to check out, I highly recommend passing out drunk in the pool. I didn't even feel it!

Matty: Well, Sanford, you're swimming with the sharks now. You can't always be the moral and respectful Jewish kid from the Bronx, Sanford. A few martinis and some smokin' hot babes are a small price to pay, Sanford, for a hospital. Look at the big picture, Sanford. Remember, Sanford, no matter what happens at the office, you still get to go home and give it to my daughter.

Discuss Sandy's business on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• Tune in next week when Kaitlin turns 27!
• The Bait Shop takes on a whole new meaning when she's there.
• This week's Ryan Usefulness Scale: 3.5
• We've gotta hand it to the staff for finding an actress to play Kaitlin with a more annoying voice than Marissa.

Why does Ryan continue to put up with Marissa's stupidity, immaturity, lack of weight, annoying behavior?

Darkly: Because he's flying under the radar. When your role on the show has diminished to the point where getting killed off in an absurd plot twist seems like the next logical development, the last thing you want to do is ruffle any feathers with the producers. You do as you're told and bank your $30,000 per episode, no matter how unattractive and annoying Marissa is. Then you start firing off resumes whenever you have free time, since the chances of anyone staying in Newport past this May are getting slimmer by the day.

Matty: I have absolutely no earthly idea.

Discuss the Ryan/Marissa on the message board.

If you were a representative from Brown, would you accept Summer?

Darkly: If I were lucky enough to become an employee of the United Parcel Service, I can assure you that I would accept Summer's signature on any "package" I would ever "deliver" to her home. I can also assure you that my every appearance at the Roberts residence would begin with the obligatory "What can Brown do for you, baby?" pickup line. And that I am pretty much irresistible to the ladies while sporting those tight shorts.

Matty: Not only would I accept her, I'd put her on the cover of the recruitment booklet. I'd put her in charge of the new school motto (Brown is the new black?). I'd change the university shoe from Reebok to Prada. I'd include topless Tuesdays on the academic calendar.

Discuss Brown on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• Things that play a more prominent role on the show than Ryan: bagels, a trailer, Johnny's hair.
• No Taylor Townsend? Terrible troubling.
• 9:03 PM EST: Kirsten and Seth converse!
• Liz Noon makes a good point: "Interesting that all of Kaitlin's friends still look 10."
• These hills are alive with the sound of boredom.

Discuss this week's random thoughtson the message board.