Once a week, the members of The OC Round Table will deliver their uncensored, unabashed, unwavering views on various issues affecting the show and its characters. Not so much knights as raucous fans of this FOX phenom, these pundits will comment on every aspect that hits the airways, from Ryan‘s bird-like facial expressions to Luke‘s transition from hotheaded jock to complete and utter loser. Agree with their views? Disagree? Send in your thoughts, comments, questions or harassing diatribes to any or all of the supposed sages. They‘ll publish viewer feedback in each subsequent edition of the Round Table. Now, it‘s time to pull up a chair, meet our panelists and dissect their takes on the shocking twists and turns that comprise The OC.

The panel:

Name: Matty Rich Favorite character: Sandy The OC words to live by: Kirsten: So what do you want to be, now? Ryan: Seventeen. Contact: Private Message

Name: Darkly Noon Favorite character: Ryan The OC words to live by: Juile: We're celebrating my new position. Sandy: I'm not gonna touch that one. Contact: Private Message

What should be on Johnny's tombstone?

Matty Rich: Johnny Harper. Friend of the anorexic. Foe to anything of interest.

Darkly Noon: John Harper. 1988-2006. May his hair piece rest.

Discuss Johnny's awesome death on the message board.

Will we ever see Kaitlin again?

Darkly: I kind of hope not, but Kaitlin should be 19 when she returns for summer break in a month or two, so who's to say what she'll be like. Maybe she will be more mature. Or fresh off a freak accident in which her vocal chords sustained permanent damage.

Matty: She'll probably drop by in a few months when her kids turn 13. Because Kaitlin will have no clue what it was like to be that age, she'll need advice from those who are familiar with the typical aging process.

Discuss Kaitlin leaving on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part I)

• We'll soon be selling T-shirts with the slogan: Ryan DonoWHO?!?
• A commercial for remaining above the influence, immediately following harmless reference to pot smoking? Priceless.
• Note to us: Kirsten doesn't like red lingerie.
• Note to us: Picture Kirsten in lingerie more often.

What has Taylor been up to these past couple weeks?

Darkly: Filling out her application to USC, because we all know that's where the whole crew will end up next fall. Forget about Brown. Seth's chance went up in smoke (**fist pump**) and Summer is kidding herself. Come on. Everyone that applies to Brown has good SAT scores. You have no shot! Plus, rivals refer to USC as the University of Spoiled Children, which seems pretty appropriate for the Taylor Townsend Trio (possible spinoff title). Mark Darkly's words. If the show returns for Season Four (opening line - 3:2 against), Trojans will play a prominent role. So that's what Taylor has been up to. And fighting with her mom. A lot. The kind of fighting that involves pillows.

Matty: Tenaciously tutoring tens of townsfolk, alerting teens and toddlers alike as to alliterative alternatives to the tedious, trite terminology that's become totally tiresome. Lord knows we need the help.

Discuss Taylor's whereabouts on the message board.

What is the Sadie-Volchok back story?

Darkly: They must have been romantically involved, based on what we know of Volchok. This guy sure takes an interest in the women in Johnny's life. From hooking up with Casey, to abducting Marissa, to telling generic but mean-spirited "your mom" jokes about Mrs. Harper, the surly surfer can't help himself when it comes to making Johnny miserable. My first theory is that Sadie fled to Oregon after Volchok got her pregnant. My second theory? His reemergence is merely another way for the writers to extend the Story Line That Wouldn't Die, if you know what I am saying. I'm saying they are just throwing s--t against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Matty: It's no big deal. Johnny just made a necklace for his former rival, as well. It has his birth stone on it, along with the image of a devil. Because that's what Volchok was to Johnny, his own personal Satan. In a few weeks, Marissa find it, blubber away for another couple years and refuse dinner that night.

Discuss Sadie/Volchok on the message board.

Random thoughts/questions (Part II)

• This week's Ryan Usefulness Scale: 4
• The Liz Noon Quote of the Week: ""Nothing Happens. I'm Bored!""
• Call us when Marissa doesn't need time to herself about something.
• We won't exactly wait by the phone.
• Unless we can strangle her with its chord.

Discuss Random thoughts on the message board.